What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

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Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Is Daenerys Targaryen really the most beautiful woman, or is everyone saying that just to flatter her?

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

How should an atheist respond to a religious person who asks, "Why do you hate God?" What are some appropriate and inappropriate ways to answer this question?

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Homophobia is clearly a harmful mental sickness. What can LGBT people do to cure it?

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Make Nazis afraid again!

According to the Gita, how do I abandon fruits of my karma? Should I donate my whole salary and stay hungry?

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

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Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

What is your response when someone says "how may I help you"?

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

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Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Is 1500 calories enough for a 5’3 15-year-old who is non-active?

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

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Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

TEXT:

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Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.